My life dealing with Misophonia
Since I was about 10 years old, I've always been extremely sensitive to many many different sounds. I never understood why though. It started with high pitched sounds that I'd hear everyday for long periods of time. I could hear mechanical sounds that no one else could hear. Like if a TV or radio was turned off, I could still hear a sharp electric static sound. It's really hard to explain.
Another thing is, my parents growing up would always tell me over and over that chewing with your mouth open was disgusting and bad manners. So that's what I grew up thinking. Any time I'd hear family members chew with their mouths open, it would freak me out to the point of violence sometimes. Even though I knew my reactions were irrational, I wouldn't be able to control my anger, blood pressure and as I said, sometimes violence.
From there, it turned into not being able to hear sniffling. Hearing it gave me not only an emotional or mental reaction but a physical reaction too. My whole body would cringe. My blood pressure would shoot sky high, then I'd start to sweat and shake. Certain sounds have caused me to have total breakdowns in the past. Real panic attacks too.
Since then, it slowly morphed into me not being able to be around anyone eating. I basically have an out of control phobia of hearing any type of sound that isn't talking, coming from a person's mouth. I can't even watch a TV series that has people talking or breathing while their mouths were dry. Loud kissing is the worst! These sounds freak me out so bad. I just want to slap someone and tell them to drink some freaking water.
Like I said before, I know it's irrational but I honestly can NOT control the scary thoughts. I've overcome acting on the real violence years ago once I taught myself to control my actions. I still haven't figured out how to get past the misophonia but I'm definitely managing it much better than 10 years ago.
My husband has been my number one supporter for the past almost 13 years. It's really selfless of him considering how he suffers the brunt of my mental and emotional disorders more than anyone. I don't know how I got so lucky to have a husband like him that loves me unconditionally and stands by me no matter how he's directly effected or not. I'd be lost without him.... Or more likely, I'd be in jail without him.
So, long-story short, if you or someone you know is suffering from Misophonia or anything like it, just try to be as supportive as possible. As long as you and everyone else involved is safe from harm or injury. Talk to someone. You really aren't alone. You can even find help online and a lot of helpful information and resources from the comfort of your own home. Don't suffer in silence alone.
If ANYONE needs someone to talk to for any reason, just email me at bfh.artistry@gmail.com or just comment on this post and I will do my best to help in any way possible.
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